It's a Hard Knock Life for Lawyers...

I know I kvetch a lot on this blog about my so-called life as a lawyer, and I'm sure there are those out there who thing I'm just a bleepity bitch who has had it all too easy in life and cries at the slightest hardship. Considering that I've never had to live in poverty (subsisting on Ramen after graduating from college doesn't really count), never been physically or sexually abused in any capacity, never been tortured during wartime, I guess it's basically true.

But this is my blog about being a mommy and being a lawyer, and it's been really hard for me. Really, really hard.

If I had to distill what it is about being a law firm associate that is so hard, I would say:

(1) Lack of control over your time. This is my absolute #1. Being a law firm associate means giving up control of your life and relegating it to the law firm (or specifically, the partner or senior associate). I have not had so little control over my time since I was probably 10, when my life was completely structured by my parents. I know that this can vary between practice groups, between firms, between partners, but I think that every associate has had to deal with this on some level, to some degree.

As I say to my friends (those who are still listening to me), being a lawyer, and especially being a corporate lawyer, is being a client's bitch (except in my case, I said that it was like being a banker's bitch). We are expected to work in tandem with their needs and requirements, but in many cases, given false and unrealistic timelines. Even in the short time that I've been at this firm, I've had half a dozen cases where I was told to work frantically for days because of an impending deal happening, only to have the deal unceremoniously die, or worse, to have the terms of the deal completely change (which then triggers another round of frantic work, which involves dumping all of the work previously done). I'm told, day after day, to not go home because the client absolutely needs to have a document turned by the morning, only to have the partner call me at midnight to tell me that they wouldn't be able to get us the necessary information until the next day. (For those who haven't experienced the beauty that is hourly billing, that means sitting in your office, surfing the internets, not billing and therefore not being given credit for sitting in your office for hours).

(2) Lack of management skills among the partners/senior associates. Maybe this is because I came from a corporate culture first, but on average, the management skills among the partners at this law firm (and, by trickle down effect, among the senior associates) is absolutely appalling. I sometimes wonder if this is because so many lawyers do go directly from school to school to being a six figured salaryman handling hundreds of millions of dollars.

Partners either ridiculously over-manage, or else they manage not-at-all. I classify these management styles as being directly correlated with the two dominant lawyer personalities - the snob (nobody can do this as well as I can) and the snot (I'm too important to do this and too important to deal with junior people). I have had partners that will literally call me every 10 minutes, and read the same 400 page document three thousand friggin times, each time catching an errant semi-colon, and then partners that will dump a massive assignment on me, with no direction and no precedent and then disappear to the Middle East for two weeks.

Seriously.

So on the one hand, I get killed with boredom, spending hundreds of hours being a glorified word processor, on the other hand, I am so stressed by not knowing what the frak I'm doing that I'm popping Alka-Seltzer to keep my innards from imploding.

(3) Being Mommy-Tracked. I know that I cut corners and take advantage whenever I can in a way that some of the younger, non-familied associates don't. I keep my load at exactly what I can handle, if I have slow days I don't seek out additional assignments, I leave early if I can.

On the other hand, I'm pretty conscientious and what work I do is done well.  (Ok, I'm not the most thorough person in the world, but I have a serious focus problem that is almost borderline medical.)  I may not be the most aggressive 2nd year associate at this firm, nor the brightest tack in the box, but at the same time, I know that my work is better than several others at my level (this is not entirely bragging - ok, just a smidge - but I attribute it to my 10+ years on the other junior associates). 

But what this translates to, in the firm world is, aww... isn't it cute that you're balancing motherhood and a law job?  Which translates to, I get just as much work, but I don't get the juicy work, the partner making work.

Lots of work + bad work = massive suckage

(4) Blackberry-itis.  I guess this isn't a lawyer thing, because apparently, nowadays, there are bloggers who carry crackberries so that they can always be plugged in to their blogs.  But at least, for many bloggers, being linked to their on-line life is something they love.  My love for my law job is highly debatable. 

I give a lot at work.  I give a lot on the weekends.  But when I'm expected to give on the four day vacation that I take after I've worked for two straight weeks in at 9, out at 2 (am, not pm), that's just mean. 

Or maybe it's just me.

Ok, internet peeps.  That's my $0.04.  If any lawyer types out there would like to add to my litany of why I hate my job, feel free :)

Comments

[Escape Brooklyn]

You mean it's not like Miranda on Sex & the City? Really?!

Thanks for sharing the truth about what it's like for lawyers. I often feel a twinge of "maybe I'd make the big bucks if I just went to law school..." and then I remember my brief legal temping stint (where I "copy checked" boxes of photocopies for 14 hours/day, 6 days/week) and decide NO THANKS! You confirmed all of my worst fears and I'm sorry you have to deal with all that craziness.

[Mama Nabi]

I toyed with the idea of becoming an attorney - as in a defense lawyer, you know, fight for the innocently accused. Ah... too many crime/law shows on tv...

:-) Yeah, the non-flexible hours... or flexibly eternal hours... I am grateful for my job when it comes to that.

[Dee]

Girl I can relate to the massive suckage. It is worse when you are mommy tracked and the female partner you are working with isn't and deep down is dying to be and dumps the real sucky files on your desk and bad mouths you to others who might consider giving you something worthwhile. Oh the joy!

Hope you are buying the lottery.

[jooliyah]

i have the law degree, have passed a bar and am a mommy who decided to stay home for the time being....mostly because husband is in the army and we didn't think we'd be here this long. we thought we'd be moving a few months after i passed the bar. anyways....this totally reminded me of the people i worked for during my law intership days. gah! totally true. i've had both the hovering supervisor and the minimal instructionist. so it's no different once they actually decide to hire you huh?